Socially intelligent individuals are aware of the emotions and intentions of themselves and others. No matter what the social situation is, they attempt to make everyone involved feel comfortable and valued. Socially intelligent people are perceptive of others’ feelings and honest about their own, and are generally adept at fostering healthy relationships.
Too much: psychobabbling
Too little: obtuseness, cluelessness
-Withhold a powerful and decisive argument that will win you a discussion but might hurt someone, at least twice a month. Focus your energy on the logic of your arguments rather than on their emotional “punch.”
-Listen to your friends and siblings empathically, without preparing rebuttals, and simply reflect your feelings after they are finished. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak during conversation.
-If someone offends you, attempt to find at least one positive element in his or her motives. Consider reasons why their offensive behavior may result from temporary, situational factors rather than from their disposition or nature.
-Attend an uncomfortable social situation as an active observer and describe what you observe without any judgments. Note whether the situation got heated or out-of-hand and why.
-Note and appreciate others in the light of their positive attributes. Voice your thoughts to them in conversation.
-Write five personal feelings daily for four weeks and monitor patterns. Are there situations that you encounter regularly that alter your emotional pattern?
-Watch a favourite TV program or film muted and write feelings observed. Note your own non-verbal communication methods when you engage in conversation.
-Express your feelings appropriately to someone for whom you have not done so. Listen carefully to their response and process your emotions together.
-Ask someone close to you about times you did not emotionally understand him/her and how he/she would like to be emotionally understood in the future. Think of a few small, practical steps that you can take when interacting with this person next.
-Listen to others with unconditional regard. Make it clear to them that your friendship is not conditional on what they tell you.
-Notice when your family and friends grow. Congratulate them and record specific observations. Make your loved ones feel like they are special parts of your life.
-Identify which of your friends relate most emphatically with others. Observe them closely and try to emulate the social skills that you admire in them.
-When working with others, emphasize the value of being agreeable. Remember that group harmony is as essential as, or even more important than, productivity.
-In your close relationships, speak plainly and directly about your needs and wishes. Allow others to do the same without judging them or responding with rebuttals.
-Perceive and acknowledge three sincere gestures of a friend. Observe how your expression of gratitude makes you both feel.