“There’s just some magic in truth and honesty and openness.” ~ Frank Ocean
Honesty is one of the highest valued qualities in society. It’s the foundation of our all our relationships. Every relationship we have in life is based on truth. When you lie to another that relationship weakens. It is a sign that we do not value this relationship.
It is possible to be more honest, but it requires courage, will power, and desire.
Being honest with yourself requires that you are honest with yourself about ALL aspect of who you are right now. This means that you acknowledge and accept both the good and the bad characteristics of who you believe you are.
When we are being honest with ourselves we pay attention to how we feel about things. I have found that feelings of discomfort happen when I am not being honest to myself. Just thinking about something can create an unease in my solar plexus. Paying attention to these feelings will help you be more honest.
It helps to be very honest about the things you want to do and those you don’t want to do. When you don’t honour what you want you’re not being honest with yourself. When you say yes when you really want to say no you’re being dishonest to yourself and to the other person.
When you begin to be true to your ‘yes and no’s’, you may feel the need to justify your answer. The need to justify your answer is a sign of guilty and it may mean you are looking for outward approval rather than honoring yourself.
Truth is subjective. It changes with time and circumstances. Something you believed as true six months ago may not be true today. You have changed and so has the reality around you. Be true to how you have changed and how your opinions have changed. Just because you did something in the past doesn’t mean you want to do it now. Speak about these changes honestly.
Let others know if you are unhappy, angry or upset. This is one area where we have the most difficulty. To be honest in these situations makes us vulnerable and feel very uncomfortable. But it can be so very freeing when we get beyond the discomfort.
Letting others know how you feel means that you are being honest (not confrontational). It may arouse strong feelings in the other person, but if you can stay with it without increasing the heat, you may find that yourself in a meaningful conversation.
Taking 100% responsibility for all of your words and actions is a key to honesty. When you are honest about your feelings, mindful of the truth in your words, your actions will reflect this.
What begins with being as honest as possible to yourself will start to spread out into every part of your life.