The Science Of Friendships

If life is war, then our friends are our best allies. They’re the ones we call up when there’s a battle ahead and we’re going to need some help. They’re the ones who come in when we’re weak and close to defeat. They’re the ones who have been there, supporting us, throughout numerous losses and gains.

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Like allying nations, we’re friends because we trust each other. We need each other, for resources and support. We depend on each other; our strength and health are vital to each other’s wellbeing.

It’s a support system that’s necessary to our sovereignty. Because if you think about it, every great power would be nothing without its allies, and our strength is dependent on the strength of our friendships.

We take care of our friendships the same way we take care of our allies. We support them and advise them, go to them in times of need and rely on them for our own moments of weakness. They’ll be the first ones there when we’ve been attacked and the last ones to leave in recovery.

According to researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, we choose our friends based on this unconscious notion that they will support us in times of need.

In findings consistent with a theory called the “Alliance Hypothesis for Human Friendship,” research leaders, Peter DeScioli and Robert Kurzban, say we choose friends based on “cognitive mechanisms aimed at creating a ready-made support group for potential conflicts.”

Because in life, we all have a few enemies and we’re all bound to fight a few battles. And we feel stronger going into life knowing someone has our back.