• New
  • Inspiration
  • Knowledge
  • Action
  • 7 Habits
    • Caring
    • Exercise
    • Flow
    • Meaning
    • Positivity
    • Relationships
    • Strengths

More results...

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors
Search in Inspiration
Search in Knowledge
Search in Action

03 Apr2019

share

Becoming A Stepparent

03 Apr 2019
share

Becoming a stepparent by blending families or marrying someone with kids can be rewarding and fulfilling. If you’ve never had kids, you’ll get the chance to share your life with a younger person and help to shape his or her character. If you have kids, they can build relationships and establish a special bond that only siblings can have.

To view the original article click here

In some cases, new family members get along without a problem. But sometimes there are bumps in this new road.

Figuring out your role as a parent — aside from the day-to-day responsibilities that come with it — also may lead to confusion or even conflict between you and your partner, your partner’s ex, and their kids.

While there’s no easy formula for creating the “perfect” family, it’s important to approach this situation with patience and understanding for the feelings of all involved. Here’s how to make things easier as you adapt to your new role.

Start Slow
The initial role of a stepparent is that of another caring adult in a child’s life, similar to a loving family member or mentor. You may desire a closer bond right away, and might wonder what you’re doing wrong if your new stepchild doesn’t warm up to you or your kids as quickly as you’d like. But relationships need time to grow.

Start out slow and try not to rush into things. Let things develop naturally — kids can tell when adults are being fake or insincere. Over time, you can develop a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your stepchildren, which doesn’t necessarily have to resemble the one they share with their birth parents.

Things That Affect Your Relationship
Children who are mourning the loss of a deceased parent or the separation or divorce of their birth parents may need time to heal before they can fully accept you as a new parent.

For those whose birth parents are still alive, remarriage may mean the end of hope that their parents will reunite. Even if it has been several years since the separation, kids (even grown ones!) often cling to that hope for a long time. From the kids’ perspective, this reality can make them feel angry, hurt, and confused.

Other things that may affect the transition into stepparenting:

How old the kids are. When it comes to adjusting and forming new relationships, younger kids generally have an easier time than older kids. But there can be a “sleeper effect” with young children. Some take big changes in stride at first, but disruptive behaviors or challenging emotions come up years later. Talk openly with kids, even if they seem OK with the big changes, to help prevent trouble later.

How long you’ve known them. Usually, the longer you know the kids, the better the relationship. There are exceptions (for example, if you were friends with the parents before they separated and are blamed for the break-up). But in most cases, having a history together makes the transition a little smoother.

How long you dated the parent before marriage. Again, there are exceptions but typically if you don’t rush into the relationship with the adult, kids have a good sense that you are in this for the long haul.

How well the parent you marry gets along with the ex-spouse. This is critical. Minimal conflict and open communication between ex-partners can make a big difference regarding how easily kids accept you as their stepparent. It’s much easier for kids to adjust to new living arrangements when adults keep negative comments out of earshot.

How much time the kids spend with you. Trying to bond with kids every other weekend — when they want quality time with a birth parent they don’t see as often as they’d like — can be a hard way to make friends with your stepkids. Remember to put their needs first: If kids want time with their birth parent, they should get it. So sometimes making yourself scarce can help smooth the path to a better relationship in the long run.

Knowing ahead of time what situations could be a problem can help you prepare. Then, if complications arise, you can handle them with an extra dose of patience and grace.

Tags

  • Relationships

You might like

  • Tips For Maintaining Friendship

    Action

  • Take a Seat, Make a Friend

    Inspiration

  • Why Friendship Is Important

    Knowledge

  • Why Personal Relationships Are Important

    Knowledge

  • Boo & Kitty

    Inspiration

  • Here's Some Simple Ways To Improve Your Relationships

    Action

Get free tips to live your best, most fulfilling life

  • About Wondrlust
  • How the site works
  • New
  • Inspiration
  • Knowledge
  • Action
  • Wondrlust TV
  • Wondrlust Radio
  • Wondrlust News
  • Resilience
  • WL Foundation
  • Let’s chat
  • About iMediasport
© Wondrlust 2025

7 habits

  • Caring
  • Exercise
  • Flow
  • Meaning
  • Positivity
  • Relationships
  • Strengths

Latest from blog

Is it possible to Design a Peak Customer Experience?
Reboot your 2019
A Life Too Short
Trying to be grateful – which at 8pm and still in the of...
The WondrAcademy

© Wondrlust 2025