A Story about Crushing Dreams and “Being Realistic”

When I was a child, I was in love with drawing. For me, drawing was as exciting as going to the playground.

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At some point in my childhood, I decided I’d become an artist of some kind. But the critics in my life were quick to cut me down. I’ll bet you’ve heard the same kind of clichés:

“Art is great but not a ‘realistic’ future goal. While it’s a nice hobby to have, you can’t really make a living out of it. You’ll just be another starving artist.”

As children, we internalise these negative messages and parrot them back. If the adults say so, it must be true, right? By adulthood, every time we have a small hope, we’re the first to snuff it out:

“Drawing is nice but not necessary. I’ll never be as good as the real professionals anyway. I don’t even have a degree from an accredited art school.”

For years I stopped myself before I even tried. I did it because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid everyone would hate my art. I was afraid of failing as an artist.

When fear grabs you, your beloved goal forever feels out of reach. But it doesn’t just stop there, does it?

If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questioning your knowledge and abilities in everything you do. And if you’re like me, you desperately want to find a cure.

One fateful day I realised that trying to beat out my self-doubt wouldn’t rebuild my confidence.

If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing to take care of it.

Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realise it’s actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it.

That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.

Now I no longer tell myself, “I’ll never be a good enough artist.” Instead, I ask myself, “What can I do to become better?” And I take baby steps.

I went from drawing every few weeks, to every week, and now every two to three days. Re-framing self-doubt has also helped me cope with other challenges, like successfully starting a small business.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be as monstrous as we make it out to be. It’s all about perspective. The following tips will help you manage your self-doubt.